Three years have passed since the Hamas-led assault on Kibbutz Nir Oz, a period now marked by a somber process of reflection for the survivors of one of the worst-hit communities near the Gaza border. Once a vibrant collective of 400 people, the site remains largely deserted, with nature slowly reclaiming the space. Roosting birds now occupy the rafters of the communal dining hall, a place that once served as the bustling hub for meals, holiday celebrations, and social gatherings. Eat together, we used to come and see each other. This is another painful time of reflection for residents of the kibbutz, which sits just a mile (1.6km) from the Gaza border and was one of the worst-hit places, as Israel marks the third anniversary of its deadliest-ever day. She wrote in the woman’s group, at the beginning, ‘Is everyone fine, on that day in the morning.
For Dalit Ram Aharon and her husband Achi, returning to the kibbutz is a deeply personal mission. The couple hopes to move back to the area to honor the memory of the many friends and neighbors they lost in the October 7, 2023, attacks. They remain haunted by the scale of the tragedy; household mailboxes across the kibbutz still display stickers from the aftermath—red markers signifying those who were killed, and black for those taken hostage. Dalit notes that this represents one out of every four community members, including children and infants. Also holidays to celebrate,” remembers Dalit Ram Aharon, who is showing me around with her husband, Achi, there were lots of activities here.
The assault was carried out by approximately 500 individuals, including fighters from Hamas’s elite Nukhba force alongside civilian looters. The violence claimed the lives of 41 residents and foreign workers, as well as six people who had sought shelter at the kibbutz after fleeing a nearby party. Furthermore, 76 people were kidnapped, including nine individuals who were already deceased; 14 of those taken were later killed while held captive in Gaza. Dotted with bullet holes, there is a shocking reminder of what happened to the missing residents, by the glass entrance doors. Where a wind chime dangles by the door, time stands still at the nearby burnt-out house of the Siman Tov family. Not gunfire, the parents were shot through the door of their bomb shelter – designed to protect from rockets launched from Gaza.
Dalit and Achi, who survived the ordeal by sheltering in their home for nearly 12 hours with their three children, vividly recall the terror of that day. Their eldest son, Uri, who turned nine during the attack, had pleaded with his mother not to die on his birthday. The Aharons continue to grapple with the destruction, supporting the idea of preserving some damaged homes as a testament to the events and the hatred that drove them. They point out the sites where various neighbors and community security members lost their lives, marking the locations of makeshift memorials.
The tragedy hit particularly hard for families like the Siman Tows. Tamar and Yonatan Siman Tow were killed when attackers breached their shelter, with evidence suggesting the house was set on fire and their children died from smoke inhalation. Dalit recalls receiving messages from Tamar in a group chat, documenting the rapid escalation from a routine check-in to an urgent plea for help as the situation turned fatal. Twin girls Shahar and Arbel, five, and their two-year-old son, Omer, a picture shows Tamar and Yonatan with their three children.
Another heavy loss was that of Shiri Bibas and her two young children, Ariel and Kfir, who were taken hostage and became symbolic figures throughout the hostage crisis. Despite the release of her husband, Yarden, in February 2025, Shiri and the boys did not survive. While Hamas initially attributed their deaths to an Israeli airstrike, forensic analysis by Israeli experts later determined they were murdered by their captors.
The recovery process is complicated by broader questions regarding the security failures that allowed the assault to unfold. Israeli Defense Forces investigations revealed that military support arrived at the kibbutz nearly 40 minutes after the attackers had already departed, leaving the community to face the violence with minimal external help. Now, with no hostages remaining in Gaza, some residents find a sense of relief, though the focus has shifted entirely to personal recovery.
While many of the bereaved have relocated, approximately 20 homes have since been renovated or rebuilt, allowing a handful of survivors to return to their roots. Among them are figures like Gadi Moses and Yair Horn, who hope that by coming back, they can preserve the memory of their community while attempting to reclaim some semblance of the life they once shared.
